Lost Love
by swifty13fans
Summary: Earthborn background Shepard with Liara pairings. We are going to dive into Shepard past but with her past being revealed, will it hurt her relationship with Liara? Can she keep her focus to end the Reapers? Took place in Mass Effect 3 universe and will go beyond that. *story still in progress*


**A/N : Welcome to my new story to all the followers who has been following me from my other stories, Forever After or What If. To the new readers, welcome and I hope you like my story. First of all I'm going to explain my Shepard first. Her background is Earthborn, War Hero and Paragon. But she also used Renegade action from time to time, so she wasn't fully Paragon. My Shepard is the same as the female Shepard in my past 2 stories, with difference background, of course. But this story has nothing to do with the other 2 stories, so you don't need to read it to understand but if you want to read it, I appreciate it. And of course it's another Shepard/Liara pairings.**

**I'm going to give you guys a crash course regarding the story, it will start from the start of Mass Effect 3 and it will go beyond that. I will follow the game for most or half part of it, but I also will put my own twist in it too. If you want to know more, well read the story!**

**I'm sorry in advance for any typo or grammar mistakes. Bear in mind that English is my second language. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy the story and leave me reviews on what you guys think. But I appreciate it if you guys can leave nice reviews or constructive reviews. And no, you don't need to point out how bad my grammar is because I know it full well. I try hard to keep it at minimum but like I said, it's my second language so it's not easy. I know it's annoying but bear with it, okay? Well enough talking, time to let you guys read the story.**

***I don't own anything except the ideas and some characters. Other than that, credits are where it's due.***

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><p>Chapter 1 : Sad Beautiful Tragic<p>

It has been 6 months since Shepard has been grounded by the Alliance for what she did to the Alpha relay. She understands their reason but what she couldn't believe is how the Alliance still not believes her about the Reapers after everything she had done. From beating Saren to destroying the Collectors homeworld. Maybe she shouldn't have expected them to believe her about the Reapers since they blame it on the Geth for Sovereign attack and keep telling themselves the Collectors attack died when Shepard blew their homeworld.

While Shepard thought about what has been happening while looking out the window, a sight caught her attention. There's a little boy with a small replica of the Normandy running around. The sight make her heart grew warm. It took her mind to somewhere it hasn't been for quite some time now. Before her mind could drift anywhere further, someone open the door to the room Shepard in.

It was Lieutenant James Vega who is responsible to watch over Shepard while she is being grounded.

"Commander." salute Lieutenant Vega.

"You aren't supposed to call me that, anymore." said Shepard as she close her datapad she has been holding this whole time.

"Not supposed to salute you, either... We gotta go. The defense committee wants to see you."

This caught Shepard attention. It can't be anything good if the defense committee wants to see her.

"Sounds important." said Shepard as she tossed the datapad she was holding to the bed as she followed James.

"What's going on?" asked Shepard as she catch up to James who walking faster than she did.

"Couldn't say. Just told me they needed you… now."

A small smile formed in Shepard face as she saw her former Commanding Officer, Admiral David Anderson. It's no secret between Shepard and Anderson that she thought of Anderson as a mentor and maybe a bit as a father figured.

"Anderson." greet Shepard as she shakes Anderson hand firmly.

"You look good, Shepard. Maybe a little soft around the edges." remarks Anderson.

Shepard felt a little offended by those remarks but she couldn't disagree. Her usual physical routine changed ever since she was being grounded. And the delicious food didn't help either.

"How you holding up since being relieved from duty?" asked Anderson as both of them walked to their destination.

"It's not so bad, once you get used to the hot food and soft beds."

* * *

><p>How come from having a talk with Anderson on how she settling in after being relieved from duty, arguing over why the Alliance took her ship from her, found out Ashley Williams been promoted to a Lieutenant-Commander to Reapers attacking the Earth? That's what has been in Shepard head as she watched the gruesome sight in front of her. It's not even a few seconds in this war, she already been knocked off her feet by a flying table of all things.<p>

"They are massive." complain Anderson as he watched the Reapers tore everything in sight.

Both Shepard and Anderson quickly move towards where the spaceport is to meet up with the Normandy amid all the chaos all around them. There were a few husks they need to take care of and it wasn't that hard to deal with. Until both her and Anderson ran out of heat sinks and she had to take down 3 husks with melee attack. It wasn't that hard since she had quite some practice over the years, but as to give it a little different, a Reaper fired it laser and blew the office Shepard was near. Good thing she still has good reflexes or who know what will happen.

Once she got back on her feet, she moved towards the office the Reapers fired at. There's some damaged and fired but they can still walk around. After she took care a husk stuck between the door they want to go through, Shepard opened the door and let Anderson go in first. As she was about to follow behind, a noise in the vent caught her attention.

"Hey." said Shepard as she saw that little boy she saw earlier with the Normandy replica toy in the vent.

"It's okay…" reassure Shepard as she kneeled down to look in the vent where the boy has retreat back.

"Everybody dying." said the boy.

"Come here. I need to get you someplace safe." said Shepard after she being interrupted with a Reaper move pass the building they in.

"Take my hand." add Shepard as she holds out her hand for the boy to grab.

"You can't help me."

"Shepard." call out Anderson which got Shepard attention and took her eyes off the boy.

When Shepard takes a look at the vent again, the boy is already gone.

"In here." said Anderson.

Shepard took another look at the vent but the boy already vanished somewhere in the vent.

"This is a goddamn mess." complain Anderson as Shepard joined him.

"Every minute these machines are here, thousands of innocent people die. I won't be responsible." add Anderson as he clear the rubble blocking their path.

"It's hard enough fighting a war, but it's worse knowing no matter how hard you try… you can't save them all." said Shepard as she thought back at the deaths of some of her crews under her command in the last few years.

After Anderson assured Shepard that it's best to asked the council for helped since Shepard still a Spectre, they got clear off the rubbles and found a few heat sinks. They continued their walk towards the spaceport when a dreadnought was blown by a Reaper and at the same time they lose contact with the Normandy.

Soon enough they found 2 Alliance soldier with one of them has his leg stuck by rubble. After taking care of 3 cannibals, Shepard and Anderson helped out the soldier and head towards the down fighter to find a radio. They were ambushed by more cannibals and after taking care of them with little problem, Shepard found herself an Avenger assault rifle while Anderson start contacting the Normandy again and turn on the beacon.

As they were waiting, more cannibals came and the fights last longer than Shepard and Anderson would have wanted. Every one cannibal they took down, 2 more came. Both Shepard and Anderson are running low on heat sinks, fast.

"Cavalry has arrived." announced Joker as he fired one of Normandy gun to destroy a platform where the cannibals kept coming.

"Bout time." said Anderson.

"Let's go." said Shepard as she make a run towards the Normandy.

When Shepard jump into the Normandy shuttle bay, Ashley and another Alliance soldier gave a cover to Shepard and Anderson from the shuttle bay.

"Welcome back, Shepard." greet Ashley.

"Thanks."

"Shepard." call out Anderson as he stopped dead at his track nearing the gap between the platform and Normandy shuttle bay.

"Come on!"

"I'm not going. You saw those men back there. There's a million more like them, and they need a leader."

"We are in this fight together, Anderson."

"It's a fight we can't win. Not without help. We need every species and all their ships to even have a chance of defeating the Reapers. Talk to the Council. Convince them to help us."

"What if they won't listen?"

"Then make them listen. Now go! That's an order."

"I don't take orders from you anymore, remember?"

Anderson took Shepard dog tags from his right pocket he has been holding ever since Shepard been grounded, before he tossed it to Shepard which easily caught by her.

"Consider yourself reinstated… Commander."

"You know what you have to do." said Anderson and truly believes every words of it. He knew if anyone can do it, it will be Shepard.

"I'll be back for you, and I'll bring every fleet I can." promised Shepard.

"Good luck." add Shepard.

"You too, Shepard."

As the Normandy about to leave, two Alliance shuttles arrived at the platform where she was before and she saw that little boy got into one of it as a Reaper moving towards them. Both shuttles hurriedly fly away but one of it was blown away by the laser from the Reaper before the shuttle the boy in, also been blown out of the sky.

That sight in front of her, the thought of that boy, make Shepard wonder about something she hasn't been thinking about for the past 18 years. All the regrets she hasn't been having come rushing as she think about him. What happened to him? Is he still alive? Does she ever have a chance to see his face again and explain herself?

* * *

><p>"What the hell's going on? Where's Anderson? Where we going?" asked James as he saw Shepard walking towards the armory.<p>

"Hey!" yell James irritated with Shepard staying silent.

"We're leaving." answered Shepard.

"Leaving?"

"What's going on?" asked Ashley.

"Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel, get help for the fight." explain Shepard to Ashley.

"Bullshit. He wouldn't order us to leave." said James angrily.

"We don't have a choice. Without help, the war's already over.

Ashley watched as James losing his temper and start questioning Shepard. And by the look of Shepard, Ashley knew well enough not to question her any further but that's not what James did.

"Forget it. Drop me off someplace, 'cause I'm not leaving."

"Enough! Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight?" yell Shepard losing her temper with James questioning her order.

"We're going to the Citadel… you want out, you can catch a ride back from there." add Shepard.

"Commander." said Joker from the ship PA system.

"Joker… that you?" asked Shepard clearly has calm down once she heard Joker voice.

"Alive and kicking. Got an emergency transmission from Admiral Hackett for you."

"Patch it through."

"Shepard… sustained heavy losses. *static* force was overwhelming. There's no way we can defeat them conventionally." said Hackett.

"Anderson's already ordered me to the Citadel, to talk to the Council."

"First, I need you. *static* lance outpost on Mars *static* we lose control of the system."

"Yes, sir." salute Shepard after hearing her new order from Admiral Hackett.

"*static* been researching the Prothean Archives with Dr. T'Soni. *static* found a way to stop the Reapers… only way to stop them… *static* in contact soon. Hackett out."

"Joker. Set a course for the Mars Archives." order Shepard.

"Mars? Roger that."

"This is loco." said James to Ashley as Shepard walk towards a table where her armor already waiting for her.

"What do he thinks we found there?" asked Ashley although she knew at the name of Dr. T'Soni, Shepard would have head there straight away even without an order.

"I don't know, yet, but if it helps us win the war…" answered Shepard as she checks on her pistol as her heart still skips a beat when Hackett mentioned Liara name.

"Grab your gear." order Shepard as she grabs her armor.

* * *

><p>"Damn… another huge storm. Looks a lot bigger in person." complain James as soon as they touched down in Mars.<p>

"Come on, Lieutenant. It's not that bad." replied Ashley.

"I'm more worried with people back on Earth… or the fact that nobody here reporting in." add Ashley as she watched Shepard who is a few steps in front of her.

She knew it must be killing her commander knowing Liara is in Mars and there's no communication with Mars ever since they arrived. With the Reapers revealed themselves after more than 50,000 years of hiding; Shepard is their best shot to lead them to a victory. After all she has talked to the Reapers in few occasions now and clearly the Reapers felt threatened by Shepard.

Despite telling herself to keep Shepard calm before they figured out what happen in Mars and Liara, she just had to speak about Cerberus once they encounter Cerberus troops in Mars. Just as she was back at the Horizon; well maybe she trust her more than she was back then, but after everything she saw Cerberus did, she just can't believe Shepard agreed to work with them.

"I need a straight answer, Shepard." asked Ashley once they step into the building with a lift platform.

"About what?"

"Do you know anything about this? What is Cerberus doing here?"

"What makes you think I know what they're up to?" answered Shepard as she getting sick of Ashley questioning her loyalty.

"You worked for them. How am I supposed to believe you've cut all ties?"

"We joined forces to take down the Collectors. That's it."

"They rebuilt you from scratch. They gave you a ship, resources…"

"Let me be clear. I've had no contact with Cerberus since I destroyed the Collector base. I have no idea why they're here now or what they want."

"Commander Shepard has been under constant surveillance since coming back to Earth. No way they've communicated since." spoke James who has been watching his two top ranking officer arguing with themselves ever since they encounter Cerberus troops.

"Sorry, Shepard. I just…" Ashley was interrupted by the sound of pressurized air and the lift platform start to ascend.

"I shouldn't have to explain myself to you, Ash." said Shepard after she removed her helmet.

Ashley looked down after Shepard said that. In her head, she can't believe how her commanding officer still kept her calm composure. She was expecting Shepard to yell at her but instead Shepard reaction was the same as she was back at Horizon.

"Please, trust me." pleaded Shepard to Ashley as the lift platform stop at it destination.

"I do. It just that…" once again Ashley being interrupted. But this time around it's from a sound in the vent.

Shepard, James and Ashley quickly grab cover as they examine the room and keep a look at the vent where they hear the sound from. After hearing some gunshot and what it sound like a biotic being used, Shepard took a peek when she saw an Asari shots the two Cerberus troopers trap in singularity before kill them off after they hit the floor. She doesn't have to think long before knowing who that Asari is. Shepard quickly holster her pistol back as she walk towards the Asari. While James who followed closed behind still point his Avenger assault rifle at the Asari.

"Easy there, Lieutenant. She's with us." said Shepard as she grabbed James rifle and point it below before continue her walked toward the Asari.

James looked at Ashley for a brief moment afterwards where he saw the Lieutenant-Commander half smiling.

"Shepard! Thank the goddess you're alive!" said Liara in relief once she turn her back and saw her lover.

Shepard took few more steps forwards before grabbing hold both of Liara hands.

"You too, Liara."

"I was so worried when the reports came in. I'm… sorry about Earth."

"Yeah. It was… difficult to leave." respond Ashley as she break the sweet reunion between the two lovers.

"Ashley. I'm sorry. But… why'd you come here?"

"Hackett order us to come. Said you know what was going on."

"I do." said Liara as she lead them towards a window overlooking the Archives.

"Hallelujah. Some answers, finally." said James in relief.

"Maybe. I've discovered plans for a Prothean device. One that could wipe out the Reapers."

"Here? On Mars?" asked Shepard in disbelief.

"In the Prothean Archives, yes."

"We've known about the Archives for decades. Why now?"

"Process of elimination, mixed with a little desperation."

"When you destroyed the Alpha relay, you bought some time. But then you were under investigation. I knew I had to do something. Hackett knew it, too. He contacted me, asking if I would use my resources as the Shadow Broker to find a way to stop the Reapers. My search led me here. Hackett got me access to the Archives and kept me updated on your status." explain Liara.

"I meant to come see you, but…" add Liara as she realized the last time they saw each other was just a little before Shepard turned herself in to the Alliance.

"I would've like that, but under the circumstances… I think I can forgive you." said Shepard even though she doubts she ever get mad at Liara.

"You're too kind."

* * *

><p>After Liara gave the rundown, Shepard ordered James to go back to the shuttle as Cerberus troops about to break in the building they are in. Shepard ordered Liara to use her singularity at them once they opened the door as she shots down 4 Cerberus troopers trying to attack them. Mostly because she was pissed when one of them said Liara is an Asari bitch.<p>

"At least you could've left one for us." said Ashley as she was barely marked out her target before Shepard killed him off.

Shepard only responded with a half smile as she looks for a way up.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"<strong>__**I don't know how you do it. You've always stayed focused, even in the worst situations." asked Liara.**_

_**"**__**When there's so much at stake, I think about my friends, loved ones… what I'd lose if I failed." answered Shepard as she softly touched Liara cheek. **_

Shepard quietly watched Liara working on the console as Ashley find a way to communicate with Cerberus troops at the other side of the tramp station as Shepard had a little flashback regarding a moment she shared with Liara 10 minutes ago. What she said had a deeper meaning than Liara might have thought… because of him. It has become Shepard new priorities to end this war.

Liara never knew about her past, her past than she has been hiding ever since she joined the Alliance. People may find it easy to approach her but they never succeed on finding out over her past. Liara asked about it after she and the Normandy crews destroyed the Collectors homeworld, but Shepard kept a tight lipped as she wasn't ready to tell Liara about her past. She didn't know how Liara going to react if she knows, but she also know if Liara found out about it by herself, it will be a lot harder to explains.

'I have to tell her about it. Especially if I'm going to asked for her help finding him.' thought Shepard before Ashley called out to her.

"What've you got?" asked Shepard after heading towards where Ashley is.

"He's got a transmitter in his helmet, if I can…" Ashley let out a small gasp as she saw the face of the dead Cerberus trooper.

"Oh, god. He looks like a husk." add Ashley after regain her composure.

"Yeah, not quite. But they've definitely done something to him." said Shepard as she walked towards the dead Cerberus trooper to grab his transmitter.

"Engineered? By Cerberus? They claim to stand for humanity, and they do this to their own people. That could've been you, Shepard. For all I know, that's what Cerberus had done to you."

"How can you compare me to that thing?" asked Shepard, furious with her second in command.

"I don't know what you are… not since they got their hands on you. Is it really you? Would you even know if they were controlling you somehow?" said Ashley as she honestly worried if her commander isn't the same person she know anymore.

"That's not fair, Ash."

"I'm just talking out loud. I don't need you to answer. I doubt there's anything you could say to convince me. I guess I just need some time to get to know you again."

"I'm the same person I always was. Time won't change that, but if that's what you need, I understand." said Shepard as she understand that Ashley still find it hard to believe her. Who would blame her after everything they saw on their Cerberus first encounter?

"Thanks… for understanding." replied Ashley as she really appreciated Shepard understanding. She really hope she will get the answer soon if her commander still the same person or Cerberus has done something to her. Because if they are, she will be more than happy to destroy Cerberus once and for all for changing the commander she trust and respect.

"You bet." said Shepard as she start talking to the transmitter she picked from the dead Cerberus trooper in an attempt to trick them.

* * *

><p>The trick was successful and after they ambushed a team of Cerberus troops, they got ambushed themselves but it wasn't that hard to kill them off. After fighting a dozen more Cerberus troops once they arrived at the tramp station, they finally arrived at the Prothean Archives. Shepard immediately order Ashley to check the building in case there's any surprises as her and Liara head towards the console near the Archives.<p>

"Shepard." said the Illusive Man as his holographic appear behind them which got Liara drawn her weapon where Shepard much more calm as she only turn around so she will be facing the Illusive Man.

"Illusive Man?" said Liara in surprise before she holstered her pistol.

"Fascinating race, the Protheans. They left all this for us to discover but we've squandered it. The Alliance has known about the Archives for more than thirty years and what they done with it?

"What do you wanted?" asked Shepard as finally speaked after only listening to what the Illusive Man had to say.

"What I've always wanted." answered the Illusive Man after a long silence as he watched the artifacts behind Shepard and Liara.

"The data in these artifacts holds the key to solving the Reaper threat." add the Illusive Man.

"I've seen your solution; your people are turned into monsters."

"Hardly. They're being improved."

"Improved?" Shepard was furious with the Illusive Man answered. He's deluded, thought Shepard.

"That's what separates us, Shepard. Where you see a means to destroy, I see a way to control; to dominate and harness the Reapers power. Imagine how strong humanity would be if we controlled them."

"Earth is under siege, and you're hatching a scheme to control the Reapers?"

"You've always shortsighted. Hasty. Your destruction of the Collector base proved that."

"I destroyed that base because I didn't trust you with the information."

"This isn't your fight any longer, Shepard. You can't defeat the Reapers, even with the Prothean data."

"You brought me back because you knew what I could do. I can defeat them."

"Doubtful. The odds aren't in your favor."

'That what people said before I beat Saren, Sovereign and the Collector.' thought Shepard.

"More importantly, I don't want the Reapers destroyed. We can dominate them, use their powers, harness their very essence to bring humanity to the apex of evolution."

"You've gone too far. The Reapers will kill us all if we don't stop fighting each other!"

For all the bad things Cerberus done, they still have money and firepower to help with this war instead of using it against the Alliance. After all, if the Alliance busy fighting off Cerberus attack, soon enough they will run out of soldiers to fight the Reapers. At a time like this against the Reapers who basically a myth which can't be destroyed, the galaxy need every help they can to destroyed the Reapers and proved that the Reapers aren't indestructible and you can achieve the impossible if you work together.

"I don't expect you to understand, Shepard. And I'm certainly not looking for you approval. You were a tool, an agent with a singular purpose. And despite our differences, you were relatively successful. But like the rest of the relics in this place, your time is over." said the Illusive Man.

"We'll see about that… Enough talk, Liara." said Shepard as she give Liara a signal to proceed on recovering the data from the Archives.

"Don't interfere with my plans, Shepard. I won't warn you again."

"Duly noted."

"Shepard!" called out Liara.

"What?" asked Shepard as she turns towards Liara.

"The date it's not here. It's being erased." explained Liara.

"Damn it. How's he doing it?"

"It's local. Someone's uploading the information."

Meanwhile Ashley is near the ending of securing the building when she found a work place where Dr. Eva Core is busy uploading the data from the Archives to herself.

"Hey! Step away from the console." order Ashley.

Dr. Eva Core closed the console and just stood there which prompted Ashley to take steps towards her. But she clearly wasn't expecting the resistance from the doctor. After knocked Ashley, Dr. Eva Core destroyed the console which also turned off the power to the artifacts before start running towards the exit.

Shepard, Liara and Ashley who finally got back on her feet start running in the hope of catching Dr. Eva Core before she could get to the exit. Shepard tried to get help from James and the Normandy but the storms were causing interference and Shepard can only hope someone can help them out before Dr. Eva Core got away. But that hope was shattered as Dr. Eva Core managed to jump into a waiting Cerberus shuttle.

"Damn it! James? Normandy? Anybody?" yell Shepard in her comms.

Out of nowhere, James who is piloting the UT-47 kodiak arrived.

"I got this one!" said James as he watched the Cerberus shuttle about to fly off.

James boldly hit the Cerberus shuttle with enough force to only damage his shuttle at minimum but enough to send the Cerberus shuttle flying. Unfortunately James wasn't expecting to send the Cerberus shuttle flying towards where Shepard, Liara and Ashley are. Shepard and Ashley got out of the way unharmed while Liara need little help from Ashley as she was limping. While Shepard waving towards James to signal him to set down the shuttle and maybe have a little talk about the stunt.

"We need the data." said Liara as Ashley helped her walk towards where Shepard and James is.

Ashley kept walking until there were sound from the down Cerberus shuttle and the door were kicked open and revealing Dr. Eva Core damaged but still alive and had no problem to walk pass the flaming fire. Noticing the danger, Ashley grab Liara pistol from her waist before pushed Liara backward as she turn around so she will be facing the robot.

Unfortunately for Ashley, all those shots didn't do much harmed to the robots and the next thing she know, Dr. Eva Core grabbed her by her helmet.

"Ash!" yelled Shepard after turn to look at the commotion where she noticed Dr. Eva Core grabbed Ashley by the helmet.

"Let her go!" order Shepard as she drawn her point towards Dr. Eva Core.

"Orders?" asked Dr. Eva Core to her comms.

"Finish her." order he Illusive Man.

Dr. Eva Core comply by hitting Ashley twice at the down Cerberus shuttle before letting go of her grips and turns towards Shepard and start running towards her.

Shepard kept her cool and fired at the robots trying to attack her and as she only has one bullet left, Dr. Eva Core finally killed. Shepard finally breathe again as she was holding out her breathe the entire time she shooting the robot. When she look pass the robot, she saw Ashley body lay on the ground, motionless.

"Grab that thing. Bring it with us." order Shepard to James as she tossed her pistol aside and start running towards Ashley.

* * *

><p>They finally on board the Normandy and Shepard rushed towards the med bay. As soon as she arrived, Shepard lays Ashley on one of the table and just staring at the barely breathing Ashley while James put down Dr. Eva Core body on the opposite bed.<p>

"Ashley needs medical attention." said Liara as she tried to snap Shepard out from wherever she in.

"We have to leave the Sol system." add Liara trying to get a response from Shepard.

"I know." answered Shepard.

"The Citadel is our best chance. We can find help there." suggest Liara.

"Get us to the Citadel, Joker." order Shepard.

"Roger that." acknowledge Joker.

"Hold on, Ash." said Shepard as she touch Ashley right arm.

"See what you and EDI can learn from that thing." said Shepard towards Liara as she watched where James put down Dr. Eva Core body.

"Commander, I'm receiving a signal over the secondary QEC, I believe it's Admiral Hackett." said EDI through the PA system.

"Patch it through." said Shepard as she head downstairs towards the comm room.

* * *

><p>"Shepard." called out Liara as she watched Shepard still standing in front of the QEC after debriefing Admiral Hackett.<p>

"EDI is extracting data from the Cerberus machine. We'll have details to present the Council by the time we reach the Citadel." said Liara as she took a few steps towards Shepard.

"And Lieutenant-Commander Williams?" asked Shepard.

"I've done what I can for her. She needs proper medical attention soon." answered Liara as it clearly got a response from Shepard who finally start moving to walk away from the comm room.

"The Admiral's right. It's going to get worse, isn't it?" add Liara.

"Unless we stop the Reapers. Yeah." said Shepard as she stopped briefly beside Liara before head towards the War room.

"I've looked at the data. This weapon could be the answer… if we can build it. I get the sense you don't quite believe it, though." said Liara as she followed Shepard.

"I'm a soldier. I should be back on Earth fighting, not wasting my time with this." said Shepard coldly as they come at a stop.

"If it's going to work, we need you." said Liara as she knows Shepard are hurt with what happened to Ashley.

"Shepard?" called out Liara to her lover after she stayed silent.

"Isn't it worth trying, at least?" asked Liara after Shepard finally look at her.

"I'm going to check on Ashley and James." answered Shepard as turn around and walk away from Liara.

* * *

><p>"What the hell are you doing that for? What's wrong with you? You're going to hurt her feelings." mutter Shepard as she leaves the war room to the conference room with her eyes half closed.<p>

"Ark… I-I'm so sorry." said the Ensign who bump into Shepard.

"Co-Commander. I'm so sorry." add the Ensign as he realized it was his commander and start to straighten up his posture and gave Shepard a sharp salute.

"Ease up, Ensign. It's my fault as much as it was yours. I shouldn't have walked with my eyes half closed." reassure Shepard to the young Ensign.

"You look awfully young. How old are you?" asked Shepard as she realized the young Ensign look too young to be serving on a war ship.

"18."

"What? You can't possibly being order to served on war ship at that age."

"I wasn't supposed to be here at all, Commander. I'm still at the academy and I happened to be on board the Normandy for a tour when the Reapers attacked."

"I see."

"I know that we are heading to the Citadel, I guess I won't be here any longer."

"What do you mean?"

"The Alliance probably will send me back to Earth to help the resistance there."

"You barely out of the academy." said Shepard with a worried face. She knew if the Alliance sends him back to Earth, he can't possibly survive for more than an hour or maybe even less.

"I knew the risk when I signed up for the Alliance. Even though I would have loved to serve aboard a war ship; especially on board the Normandy with you as my commanding officer, I will comply with whatever the Alliance order me."

"I understand that but I'm not sending you back to Earth. You may not being assigned to the Normandy in the first place but I will make sure you stay on board. I'm sure you have a set of skills that can help us greatly."

"I'm not sure what I can do, Commander. I may be on top of my class in weapon training but I never hit anything other than shooting target. But I do have Emergency Medicine certificate. I noticed that we didn't have a doctor on board except Dr. Liara T'Soni, but I guess that will change once we arrived at the Citadel?"

"Dr. T'Soni is academic doctorate, but yes, I'm planning on having a doctor on board… You know what, Ensign Robertson, I will figure out what you can do aboard my ship, because I'm not sending you back to Earth."

"Thank you, Commander." said the young Ensign with a salute.

"One more thing, you don't need to salute me unless in a formal situation. I don't need any of my crews to stop doing what they were doing and keep saluting me every time they saw me."

"Yes, Commander." said the Ensign with a smile before walk towards the war room.

Her accidental meeting with the young Ensign reminded her that she didn't even know the crews yet. It has becomes her habit to get to know her crews and despite this circumstances, she will make it a priority to get to know her crews as soon as possible.

"EDI, can you send me every personal file you have regarding my crews to my personal terminal?" said Shepard to the air as she know EDI must be listening.

"I will do what I can, Shepard. With Earth under attack and the Reapers destroying communication relays, there's not much files I can get."

"Just send what you can."

"Very well, Shepard."

"Uh, Commander, we don't have full crews yet. Maybe you should talk to the Alliance about it when we arrived at the Citadel?" said Joker through the PA system.

"Are you listening in, Joker?"

"No. I was going to asked you about it when I heard your conversation with EDI." respond Joker as he tried to lie as he was listening in.

"Of course you are... I will take that under consideration."

"Are you sure, Shepard? We can't possibly operate without full crews." asked Joker.

"Just informed me when we are close to the Citadel. I'm going to go check on Ashley." answered Shepard as she walk pass a new security protocol in between the conference/war room and CIC.

* * *

><p><strong>AN : Well that was awfully long chapter. I hope it's a good one. I can't promise if the future chapters going to be as long as this one. It will depend on the ideas I have. So… Who is 'him' that Shepard keep thinking about? A former lover or maybe it's about her estranged father? Oh, I don't know… Well actually I know who is it about, but I can't possibly tell you. If you want to know, follow this story so you will get a notification once I up a new chapter. I will write this story as I play the game again so I can capture the moment as perfectly as I can. I can always watch videos on YouTube, but if you play this game so many times, you know there's some remarks you going to miss. Well you get my point. And no, I won't be beating this game anytime soon because I'm going to take my time.**

**Anyway this is a little note to my readers who been following my other stories, I will keep those two as my priorities. So don't worry over the fact I won't be updating those stories. I will juggle three stories as much as I can and update as soon and as often as I can. Well thank you for reading. ****J**


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